In a brief sentence, the checks have not shown up yet.
The interesting part is my reaction to this event. The old me, would have gone right back to being resigned and cynical. To be honest that thought crossed my mind more than once, but as that opportunity to slide back into that old train of though presented itself, the stronger my commitment to my new self became. As I rolled in this sea of emotion, I realized that it would be my choice that would ultimately determine the outcome.
The checks had not shown up in time for Jaia and I to attend the class, and that is all that happened, no more no less. My initial instinct was to assign meaning to the checks not showing up. "I must have done something wrong", "I am not practicing hard enough", "It was not the time to ask for the checks" and on and on it went, until I put a stop to it, and told myself, it just happened, and that is all.
Then the flip side of the event began to burst into my thought pattern. "Wow, how foolish you look", "everybody thinks you are crazy", "what a looser you are". Then I put an end to that by realizing, that may be some peoples opinion of the path I have chosen, and as we all know, opinions mean nothing. This process was not as short as it may sound, it took really digging deep inside to stop trying to "look good/not look bad". The icing on the proverbial cake was, it just happened, and it means nothing. Isn't it funny how that concept pops up again!
The strength of the breakthrough I had last month actually sustained me through this process. The other interesting element of this process is, I did it by myself with the help of the universe. I could have called Kristi or Lesley for coaching, but I chose not to. I was determined to grapple with this breakdown with tools I have. Though my, on going daily practice, I felt strong enough to do this on my own, and with the help of the universe, I did.
Are the checks still coming? Sure they are, and you can bet your bottom dollar when they do, I will write a piece about that. For now, I am happy and connected to the universe! Things are as they should be.
May you find your connection to the universe, and once you do, live in that connection. It is an incredibly infinite and powerful space!
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You make it sound simple, and the fun of it is that it really is. What is... is. The meaning machine wants to go crazy on it. The fact that you grappled with a fairly large one like this on your own and won out is a way to gain power for yourself that lasts. Others are needed when you begin cultivating power (in any area), but it is when you re-allocate that power onto yourself and break through that the power "sticks".
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