Fear - Hate - Blame

What is the direct correlation of the three words in the title of this post? I thought long and hard about the order of the words, maybe the order should be Fear-Blame-Hate. The one thing that stood out to me is that Fear should come first, as to me that is the root word of the three. These three words form a ferocious whirlpool of emotion. These emotions can cause a person to spin out of control. This vortex, left unchecked, can kill a person much like cancer slowly eating away the body.

If fear is the pivot word out of the three, it is also the key to unlocking the cycle. Fear causes hate and blame. When I use the word hate, I do not mean dislike. Although I do think Fear causes Blame somewhat, I believe hate actually causes blame. Blame is also an excuse to support the hatred, in the same way hatred is an excuse to support the fear. In essence we now have a bi directional whirlpool that is even more dangerous. One direction the emotions are being created, in the reverse direction the emotions are being supported as excuses. The perfect storm of emotion.

If you take fear out of the equation the triad falls apart, maybe not instantly, but with time. What makes fear so powerful? That would be simple, it's the unknown. In whatever context you put the triad of words, you will find that it all boils down to the unknown. Why is it human nature to fear the unknown? Obviously we like the comfort of familiar, but there has to be more to it than that. Could it be we had a bad experience in our youth discovering the unknown? Maybe it's genetic going far back into our DNA. Our distant ancestor were fearful of the night, and longed for the light of day. Perhaps it's the vulnerability of the unknown. The list could go on and on.

If the power in fear is the unknown, then understanding would eliminate the fear. This is a very simple idea, yet when caught in vortex of the triad it is so hard grasp the concept. The question then becomes how do we defuse the fear enough to allow understanding? How can you change the perspective of a person drowning in the triad? The frightening thing is some people actually thrive on hate. These people have lived with fear hatred, and blame so long it has become their perceived natural state.

I would also submit, that everybody has different degrees of fear, not so much in what causes the fear, but how deeply the fear is felt and reacted to. I believe fear is natural in human beings, it's the different degrees of fear among us that is interesting to me. Feasibly this could also be a byproduct of genetics, or maybe the experiences of our youth. This would be a fascinating topic for research for somebody more qualified than myself.

What spurred this train of thought was an news article on the CNN website written by Stephanie Chen called "Growing Hate Groups Blame Obama, Economy". As I read the article I began to see the relationship of Fear, Hate, and Blame, and just how out of control it is within the hate groups. Each of the groups of people have a fear of something. The fear is immense and therefore the hatred extreme with enough blame to support the out of control hatred.

The statics are very alarming.

"The center's report, "The Year in Hate," found the number of hate groups grew by 54 percent since 2000. The study identified 926 hate groups -- defined as groups with beliefs or practices that attack or malign an entire class of people -- active in 2008. That's a 4 percent jump, adding 38 more than the year before."


"On the day after Obama's historic election, more than 2,000 people joined his Web site, a remarkable increase from the approximately 80 new members a day he was getting, Black said. His Web site, which was started in 1995, is one of the oldest and largest hate group sites. The site received so many hits that it crashed after election results were announced. The site boasts 110,000 registered members today, Black said."

What is also interesting to me, aside from the race issue, is the struggling economy is also producing a surge in new members. The fear of losing everything produces a hatred by blaming a group of people for the struggling economy. In this case it is the Latino immigrants, legal and illegal, that are receiving the brunt of this hatred blaming. This is so sad, as nothing could be further from the truth.

"In the city of Detroit, Michigan, where the weak economy has taken a particularly devastating toll, Jeff Schoep serves as the commander for the National Socialist Movement, one of the largest neo-Nazi groups in the United States.

Schoep said he has seen membership grow by 40 percent in recent months, mostly because of the dire economic circumstances. It is the "most dramatic growth" he has seen since he joined the movement in the mid-1990s. The group does not reveal membership numbers to the media, he said.

"You have an American work force facing massive unemployment," Schoep said. "And you have presidents and politicians flinging open the borders telling them to take the few jobs left while our men are in soup kitchens."

This is from a man in Detroit, where the UAW refused to budge on their demands of the automakers. Do you really think those unemployed men in the soup kitchen would harvest lettuce in California for $7 an hour or less? Much less work in a kitchen restaurant washing dishes for the same? Preying on fear and causing hatred to grow, with enough blame for anybody interested.

I acknowledge that hate groups are an extreme sect, and not representative of the general population. I also understand we are dealing with radical examples of emotion, but I also think by examining these emotions, in this context, makes it much easier to see the relationship each emotion has to the other.

Do you see how quickly the triad turns into vortex, swallowing all logic and decency in it's path?

Should you be interested the article would be here
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/26/hate.groups.report/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Time: The Prison of The Mind

When talking about living in the present moment many people become confused. The confusion comes from figuring out how to deal with time. We have appointments schedules, and plans. There is also the dilemma of the past, and what needs to be remembered, such as lessons learned and memories. The question becomes how can you live in the moment while still acknowledging the past and the future.

Do dogs comprehend time? They have learned tricks so they remember the past or they would not be able to perform the trick. They also have a sense of future as they know when the sun goes down you will come home and feed them. Does a dog comprehend time? No. What about an infant? Again the answer would be no.

Time is taught to us, it is not inherent. Throughout our formative years, 1-6 years of age, we are constantly reminded of time. "You're going to be late...", "You're wasting time...", "If you get done you will have more time..." On and on this diatribe continues, and soon we accept all things revolve around time. We begin living inside the clock. Our concept of time is; things that are going to happen, and what has happened. We live our lives this way and never question why. How can we question time?

If you have an analog clock, that you can see, look at it and what do you see? The second hand ticking away the minutes. You actually anticipate the hand moving through the moment, as if you were waiting on the bell to ring to end class. Do you watch the second hand, and look backwards to the past? No, you follow it around expecting it to move through the moment, as that is what time does.

We become a prisoner of the clock, because we live inside the clock. We look forward to the future, or backward to the past. We become occupied with these two concepts of time. There is something we need to do, or there is something we should have done. There is no concept of now.

When we draw a bead on the actual moment we are in, through becoming aware, the concept of future and past disappear. In Stanley Block's book, "Come To Your Senses", he calls finding this awareness, bridging. It is a very simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime. Slow your mind down, and become acutely aware of where you are. The sights sounds smells, and the textural feelings that are around you every second of the day. The things we never pay attention to due to our distorted concept of time.

Now you are zoned out feeling the weight of your body pressing against against the chair, feeling the clothes on your body, and listening to the computer hum. What good does that do? You have become aware of now. You can recognize what it is, you have defined the moment. Now that you have a definition of the moment, you become aware of when you are in the moment, and when you are not. This is the first step of freeing yourself from the prison of time. The more you practice being in the moment, the easier it becomes. Over time it becomes second nature to live in the moment.

You are free from the clock, you become aware of the clock, but from a different perspective. It's just a clock on the wall, that is all. The second hand becomes insignificant as you are in the moment. You still know you have a Doctor appointment tomorrow, and that you will be going on vacation in 2 months, but does it matter right now? You have not forgotten the lessons you have learned, or the memories you have, but are they important right now?

The only thing that matters is now.

I Jam Therefore I Am

jam 3. [slang] to improvise freely, esp. in a jam session.

There is something magical about jamming with other musicians. I know this feeling well, as through out the years I have set in on many jam sessions. From full blown sessions with drums, bass, guitar, keyboards and P.A. to just 2 acoustic guitars on the back porch. I have jammed on electric and acoustic guitars, and drums. I have spent countless hours jamming with me on drums and just a guitar player, or just a bass player. Heck even one time with just a DJ scratching!

It doesn't matter how large or small a jam is, or in what configuration of musicians/instruments it happens to involve. The fact is musicians involved in a jam, are playing what ever comes out of their heart in that moment. That is where the miracle of jamming happens. There is a give and take among those involved. For instance, as a drummer, I can control the dynamics of the music by laying back, or not playing so loud. As soon as I begin to lay back, the rest of the musicians will follow along. Sometimes, a guitar player can mark a crescendo causing me to begin opening up behind the kit or, I can start it myself.

There is also a give and take if you have multiple guitars playing. One takes a lead spot and the other two lay back by palm muting the guitar, or bring texture to the music by playing different chords. The two guitar players laying back can also accentuate the musical highlights creating syncopation, by strumming differently. The list goes on and on, and is only limited by the musicians creativity and skill on their instrument.

This is not to imply that every time a musician jams something miraculous happens, because trust me it doesn't. For a myriad of reasons jams have different degrees of enchantment. There can be opposing trains of though among the musicians participating, or there can be too much life chaos that one cannot block out, causing the musician not to be fully present. There can be technical difficulties, or equipment failure that can blow a vibe right out of the water. Sometimes, you have an off night. Whatever is effecting one musician effects the jam, to one degree or another.

Unless something drastic happens, all jams can be categorized into three simple areas; good, great, and Awesome! Each time a musician jams they expose themselves, causing them grow musically. When the jam is good, you walk away satisfied, but with a feeling something was missing. When a jam is great, you see the smiles of the musicians reflected in the music. When a jam is awesome it's like the floor disappears and you are floating in a serene space. You are simply free, in the moment. There is no effort, the music just happens. This is what we strive for when we are jamming, to sync up in the moment, and let it happen naturally.

Last night a pickin' buddy of mine showed up with acoustic guitar in hand. I have not played my guitar in over 2 weeks so I was a little apprehensive. Rust starts to develop real quickly, especially when you get older! We get tuned up, and take off on the first tune. I wanted to play rhythm and let Earl take the melody/lead so I started off the first tune and he just fell in. Earl was weaving around, over/under, and side by side the rhythm I was laying down. I wound that tune down and started another, not giving Earl a chance to start a rhythm. I could feel myself beginning to warm up, and get more comfortable with the guitar in my hands. Earl was having a great time playing lead, and I was having big fun playing rhythm. I wound that song down, and I needed to re tune. While I was tuning Earl said he wanted me to play lead, and I reluctantly agreed.

He takes off on a new idea he is working on and I tip toe out on the fretboard. As I am playing I begin to focus on the moment, and just let my fingers go where they want. Playing lead is not a strong point of mine. I have messed around with it over the years, and I can get around the fretboard a bit, but that is about it. I can't think about music theory when I am making it, it just happens.

I was lost in the moment when Earl started to wind the song down. When we finished the song Earl was just staring at me, so I ask him what was wrong? He started smiling and said that was beautiful! Earl does not give compliments very often so I knew that I had struck something inside of him. I told him, I didn't do anything special, in fact it's the same old stuff I have been playing around with for years. He said it was different, so I ask him how was it different. He said it just felt right. I thought about it and said if you say so, not really believing what was happening.

He takes off on another idea he is working on, and again I tip toe out into the music, focusing the moment, and let my fingers go where they want. When I am playing a lead I can hear it in the distance, but I am really focused on what the rhythm is doing. Trying to accentuate, or articulate, what the rhythm is saying to me. I feel like I am meandering along...which is essentially what is happening. I hear Earl winding the tune down and we end it. Again he is sitting there smiling and I say what? He said you did it again, and I have no idea what he is talking about. It sounded like it always sounds, nothing more nothing less.

You would think if I was doing something that was out of this world I would feel it, but I did not. I believe there is a reason for this. I was so focused on the moment, the moment I was in was all that mattered, not the next and not the past. I could feel the notes work as I played them, but that was all there was no context other than the moment. I had found the space of an awesome jam and was too focused to see it.

When I am behind a kit jamming, I am much more comfortable than I am with a guitar. In that comfort zone I can feel the the different types of jams I described above. I think it also is the fact that drumming is pure rhythm, meaning, no musical notes if you will. With me usually being the only drummer I can play what fits the music without having to worry about another drummer or percussionist.

When I am playing guitar, my monkey gets fired up and begins beating me with a passion. So to get to the space I found last night, I have to really focus on the moment forcing the monkey back into the jungle. This phenomenon can happen to me behind the kit as well, it's just the comfort zone provides distance between me and my monkey.

In the studies I have undertaken, especially since completing the Landmark Forum, focusing on the moment is the single most fascinating thing to me. All music being performed happens in the moment, for better or worse, it is happening in that moment. I remember reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and thinking if I could harness this idea my music could push through to a brand new level. I believe that is beginning to happen, and it is effecting my performance in ways I could not have fathomed.

PS. The photo above is one I did a couple of years ago. The guitar on the left is a Ibanez JS1200 which I call 'Vette because she is so sleek and sexy and curves in all the right places (GRIN)! The one on the right is a Seagull S-6 which I named Sweetie because she has such a sweet sound and is so comfortable to play.

The Camera

While serving in the US Army Signal Corp in the late 80's I finally had the opportunity to get a 35mm camera. I did my usual research for something I was interested in. I learned about f-stops, shutter speeds, film speeds, as well as artistic techniques such as framing, light, texture, and dimension. I would go on walks just to take pictures. My eye began to develop due to study and practice of the art, and was soon taking some decent pictures. When I got out the Army my camera starting having problems so I took it to a shop to have it repaired. They called and told me the camera was worn out, and it would cost more to repair it than the camera was worth. That was the end of that.

This past Christmas my girlfriend, Kristi, decided to get herself a new Digital SLR. I was was staying at her house while I attended a Landmark class. It was 2300 when I got home from class. She excitedly ask me if I wanted to see the camera, I said yes, and she hands it to me. I looked it over, and except for the LCD screen it looks like any other SLR I have ever held. I told her it looked like an awesome camera and was looking forward to seeing her photos. I handed her the camera back and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. I sat down at the kitchen table and begin reviewing my notes from class, and looking over the assignment for the upcoming week. Kristi walked through the kitchen, and I could sense something was wrong. I ask her what's wrong, and I get nothing.

She was sitting on the couch and I sit down beside her and ask what's wrong. Still no answer. Finally she says she's upset due to my response to her new camera. My immediate reaction is what did I do wrong? I acknowledged the camera, told her how bad ass it was, and I looked forward to seeing her pictures. What more was there to say? While I am rolling this around in my head she goes out side to smoke a cigarette. I am sitting there still trying to figure out what I did wrong. In my minds eye I had done the appropriate wow.

Then I began to see something I had not seen at the time, and it was ugly, really ugly. This ugliness was jealousy. The love of my life had got her dream camera, and as opposed to being really happy for her, I was jealous. I felt sick. I went outside and told her I was sorry for my reaction, and that I had no idea I was presenting myself that way. I explained to her that I was extremely jealous of her new camera. Thank God she has a big heart, because I hurt her deeply. She accepted my apology and my honesty.

It's scary to see who we really are, not who we think we are. Most of us are pretending to be pretty people, the pretty people we think we are. When you come face to face with reality it's a disgusting feeling.

I remember another example of this. I attended the final night of Lesley's Forum to see what it was all about. After talking with Lesley I decided to sign up for the class. We went to the registration table to fill out the paperwork. Everything was going just fine until we got to the question about what I wanted to get out of the Forum. The people at the registration table told me I could put down anything I wanted. I looked at the entry and there were a bunch of blank lines. I thought about it for a moment and boiled it all down to one thing, in a very simple statement. "Freedom from fear". I told them that was it. They told me I could put as much as I wanted in the blank space, and I told them that was it. They kept prodding me, and I remember telling them if I could conquer my fear everything else would fall into place. They kept on, and I remember jokingly telling them that was all I wanted.

I attended the Forum the first week in December. Sunday night, after 2 long days of struggle, I got it. I had found the silence of my mind, I had transformed. The last night of my class I ask Lesley to come with me, since she had exposed me to the Forum. After the class was over, she wanted me to meet Amanda one of the girls working at the registration table. Lesley introduced us again, and she remembered me instantly. She put on a mock angry face and said "Freedom from fear!" Then she said something about the change in my face and how proud she was I finished the Forum.

The angry face I was presenting, was very nasty. Same thing with the camera. How I thought I was being was, way off from what I was actually being. This is sickening reality to face, and takes a lot of fortitude to do so.

The chatterbox creates that false reality for us. It does so seamlessly and we never notice it. It is very common to think we are our little voice, since we have had it for as long as we remember. The chatterbox is a very complicated little critter once you start to pay attention to it, and that is the first step to getting control over your little voice. First you acknowledge it, then you pay attention to it.

The reality is you are not your internal dialog.

The Power of Sharing

Sharing is such a simple act. We acknowledge when others do it, and feel good about ourselves when we participate in the gesture. Is there more to this practice of sharing than feeling good? I believe there is. All relationships depend upon communication, this is a form of sharing. Could it be said that this exchange of words and feelings is the glue that bonds people together? Granted the intent of the exchange is important to understand. Communication in the form of demands can cause problems, as choice has been eliminated.

I have witnessed the power of sharing in the Landmark Forum. From sharing in a group, with a partner, or observing others share and being engaged in what is going on. It produces a sense of connection to something larger than ourselves. Sharing gives us access to a potent force that can have a profound affect on not only ourselves, but others as well.

A perfect example. My Mother is a technophobe in the most extreme sense of the word. I can remember my sister buying a CD player and some CD's for my Mom many years ago. Although she loves music she would not touch the player, it was information overload, causing her to shut down. The CD player did nothing but collect dust.

This past Christmas my sister, Lesley and her husband, came home for the holidays. She had a new I-phone that she was showing us. Lesley took advantage of having an internet connection by showing Mom a music video on You Tube. Lesley picked a tune from the early 70's that Mom had a strong connection to. Mom became interested instantly, and Lesley played another video. Then to engage Mom Lesley ask her to pick a song. Mom thought for a second and came up with a title, Lesley found the song and played it. Mom then came up with another title Lesley found it and played it.

We were all sitting in the living room and the anticipated football game came on, so the focus in the room changed, but Mom was still coming up with song titles and Lesley was running them down on the internet. They finally went to the bedroom to continue this call and response type of sharing. An hour or so went by and it was time for me to leave. I went to the bedroom to let them know I was leaving, and they were still going strong. I smiled bid my adieu, and headed home. I found out later that this sharing went on late into the night and continued the next day. Lesley had connected with Mom through music.

The holidays passed Lesley and her husband headed home, and life seemed to go back to normal. A couple of weeks after this event, unbeknownst to me, Mom called Lesley and ask if she could find her a personal CD player. My technophobe Mother asking for a CD player! Lesley found her a Walkman type CD player and picked up a Creedence Clearwater Revival CD. I was in Austin the following week for a Landmark class, and Lesley told me about what was going on. She asked me to take the CD player to her and explain to her how to operate it.

On my way home from Austin I stopped in to give Mom the gifts Lesley had sent. To explain the operation of the player I had to put the CD in the player as an example. The moment I hit play Mom's face lit up like a Christmas tree. It was the most incredible sight to behold. I sat there in amazement not wanting to finish explaining the rest of the button functions, as that would interrupt the moment. Finally the song ended and I finished explaining how to operate it.

On my way home I was thinking about what I had observed. Lesley had created a possibility of connection, for herself, by sharing music. That opened up the possibility for my Mother to overcome her fear of technology so she could connect to the music she has always loved.

This is the power of sharing.